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Act One. Zombies unleashed as a prelude to shitstorm attack
Act two. Shit storm shows up
Act three Robots attack chaos ensues
Theres a brief intro and conclusion. Everything should support this story or the overall theme which is that they are doing this for the kids and their future.
I'm seeing now that the story needs Some restructuring The queen flashback is too long and it happens after the danger is resolved and it slows things down too much The flashback with queen should happen after the zombies and before the bad guys show up. While Jess is still covered in zombie guts and the robot ship flys over bills says we're okay. Jess says we're not ok. She just had to slice up family members and she's upset. They argue. She makes the nefertitties comment. Cut to a shorter flashback. Then bill calls up shitstorm. Then the page where he cuts off the guys head. Then captain dickpunch shows up.
