| « | October 2012 | » | ||||
 |
||||||
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |||
Page 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
15
16
17
18
19
20
Deleted Page:
21
22
23
24
25
26
26
27
28
29
30
It starts with Bill/Jess having the same conversation (can't wait to get a break from me/you're beautiful on the outside). We establish they are doing some sort of mission for a queen. Roll right into the son driving the ship. He says hes avoiding the rocks. Bill see its not rocks its roofs. He explains pre asteroid, pre robots people lived in cities. Kid is doubtful. Bill decided to take the boys on a small boat field trip to show them their heritage. Jess is worried, especailly when she sees zombies on the roof. He says its only sleepers, not leapers. Slow not fast zombies, so its a good chnce for them to learn zombie 101 and practice on them. On the small boat trip across they have a brief flashback to meeting the queen. We see that Bill is getting some sort of treasure for her but we don't reveal its candy yet. On the roof we learn more about zombies and the kids practice killing a few. They go down to the top floor to pilfer. The window is halfway underwater. Through this Bill sees the sub just below the surface between them and the ship. Worried about Jess he realizes he needs to get back to the ship. Suddenly a robot rises from the rubble activated by their movement. They break the window to flood the floor and run for it. Robot chases them to the roof. Now on the roof he can call Jess with his radio but the robot can also transmit to call in reinforcements. He tells Jess to bring the ship alongside, screw the newly finished hull work. However Jess is busy because the zombie mutiny has started. She brings the ship along side while she fights leaper zombies. Bill and the boys dodge the robot attacks by weaving in between sleeper zombies. He blinds the robot with zombie guts and Jess' brother, "Uncle Rowsdauer" shoots the cannon right at the robot, crippling it. Bill goes to the robot and secures its power core/transmitter (this will be used later) Back onboard he confronts the culprit and chops off his leg. I think I still want a patrol craft to fly over (everyone look non threatening). Bill and Jess argue a little over whose fault this is. We learn the sub is SS Dick Punch of the Shit Storm pirate fleet. The issue ends with the sub surfaced ready to board the Exodus.
Act One. Zombies unleashed as a prelude to shitstorm attack
Act two. Shit storm shows up
Act three Robots attack chaos ensues
Theres a brief intro and conclusion. Everything should support this story or the overall theme which is that they are doing this for the kids and their future.
I'm seeing now that the story needs Some restructuring The queen flashback is too long and it happens after the danger is resolved and it slows things down too much The flashback with queen should happen after the zombies and before the bad guys show up. While Jess is still covered in zombie guts and the robot ship flys over bills says we're okay. Jess says we're not ok. She just had to slice up family members and she's upset. They argue. She makes the nefertitties comment. Cut to a shorter flashback. Then bill calls up shitstorm. Then the page where he cuts off the guys head. Then captain dickpunch shows up.
