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Triplepocalypse
Tuesday, 26 June 2012

I'm seeing now that the story needs Some restructuring  The queen flashback is too long and it happens after the danger is resolved and it slows things down too much The flashback with queen should happen after the zombies and before the bad guys show up.  While Jess is still covered in zombie guts and the robot ship flys over bills says we're okay.  Jess says we're not ok. She just had to slice up family members and she's upset.  They argue.  She makes the nefertitties comment.  Cut to a shorter flashback.  Then bill calls up shitstorm. Then the page where he cuts off the guys head.   Then captain dickpunch shows up.  


Posted by frankandjane at 11:22 AM EDT
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Page 5a might delete this page

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Sunday, 24 June 2012
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